If you live TV don't watch,
It need a license fee your life not blotch,
For the law we hold dear,
On this point is clear.
But the nasty BBC,
Does this point not see,
And as them a purchase failure bugs,
They employ collection thugs,
Who will non-buyers letters send,
Which into brutishness descend,
Saying between the lines,
"You dirty stinking rat,
We will bash you with our bat,
For you a license don't possess,
And this to our gravy train is stress,
For can't you see,
We are the BBC,
And we our stars must fortunes pay,
So they clever things on screen will say,
Plus our directors need a salary,
Which makes them feel exemplary,
While you with no license are a criminal,
A person really marginal,
And as you have not a license bought,
Our friendly judge in court,
You a thousand pounds will fine,
As only slime would do this crime,
Which does higher people at the BBC deprive,
Of their chance in life to thrive."
-----
When it comes to putting the "frighteners" on people
with threats of legal violence, the BBC make the Kray
twins look positively gentle and benign.
My sister oft repeats politely
She does not watch the telly nightly,
She does not have a TV set
Her entertainment needs are met
By reading books or stroking pets
Or chats to friends or placing bets
At cards or or on the internet
But Auntie Beeb thinks she's a liar
How can people's cozy fire
Not be joined in every corner ,
By a box, so they have warned her
Pay us lots and lots of cash
Or we'll send some boys around to bash
in your door, you non-conformist
How can people live as you do
Not paying what we think is due
When safe at home
you should be sitting
Watching us, not doing knitting